


Kill or Be Killed

by KateKintail



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dark, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-01-30
Packaged: 2017-11-27 12:17:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/661913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KateKintail/pseuds/KateKintail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius’s mission with the Order goes better than planned. Or worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kill or Be Killed

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: No characters were harmed in the writing of this fic. I don’t own them and don’t make any money.
> 
> Written for the May Madness story-a-day challenge 2012 on LiveJournal/InsaneJournal

Sirius burst in the door, triple locked it behind him, and headed straight for the kitchen. Sitting on the couch reading through the teaching material, Remus looked up. “Welcome back, Pads. How did the mission g—” He broke off at the sound of a loud crash, which made them both jump.   
  
Swearing, Sirius dropped to his knees in front of the mess. But, as Remus rounded the corner into the kitchen, he saw that Sirius was in no condition to clean up. The man’s hands were shaking uncontrollably and his face was wet with tears. Remus put hands on Sirius’ shoulders and steered him back. “I’ll get it. You just sit still.”   
  
With his whole body shaking now, Sirius curled up on himself in the corner of the kitchen, leaning against a set of cabinets for support. Remus picked out the largest pieces of broken glass, the strong smell of fire whiskey striking his heightened senses. Remus waved his wand to gather up the stray pieces and then used a towel to mop up the alcohol.   
  
When it was safe to walk across the kitchen again, Remus turned his attention to Sirius. He crawled timidly into the corner and, when Sirius did not pull away, he wrapped his arms around the man. Sirius kept shaking but buried his head in Remus’ chest. “Need a drink,” he whispered. “Need to calm down.”  
  
“That was the last of what we have,” Remus said. He didn’t dare leave to get more, and Sirius would most likely drop it as well.   
  
“Need to kiss you. Need to make love.” His fingers flexed, reaching out and finding Remus’ shirt. He clung on tightly, clutching fabric in his fists. “I killed someone tonight.”  
  
Remus tensed up.  
  
“It was just a Death Eater. Some bastard behind a mask. We were dueling and he kept using Crucio. Unforgiveables, Moony! Finally I fired off a spell that made the barrels beside him explode and he went down.” Sirius buried his face into Remus’ chest. “I had to look. I don’t know why, but I had to. It was John Baily’s daddy.”  
  
For the briefest of seconds, Remus’ heart stopped beating. John Baily was a Slytherin who had been one year above them at school.   
  
“And he wasn’t there alone there was another one there, one who called me by name before apparating away.”  
  
John. Had to be.   
  
“So I just stood there, staring at the body. I didn’t know what to do. Finally I sent a patronus to Dumbledore and headed straight home. I couldn’t… Merlin, Moony, I killed Mr. Baily!”  
  
Remus held onto Sirius, squeezing so tightly it was a wonder Sirius didn’t die. “You didn’t have a choice. He was trying to get into the station. He was trying to kill you. You had to do it.”  
  
“But I still did it.”   
  
“You did it so that you could come home to me.”  
  
Sirius looked up, tears in his eyes. “Please, Moony. Please let me… I need to feel something other than this, need to see something other than his face.”   
  
Remus gave a nod and Sirius immediately had him down on the floor of their kitchen.


End file.
